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Kicked to the Curb, Part 1

Updated: Jan 26, 2020

For 28 years, I have been driving to the same building 5 days a week for work. To the same the same FLOOR for a majority of those years. I had A JOB. I worked my way up doing the appropriate things. When I was younger, that meant learning how to kiss the appropriate amount of ass, and of course the appropriate ass to kiss.

Side Note-I once made the mistake of thinking that THE Secretary and a secretary held the same kissability. When I met a secretary "Mary", she insisted that I call her Mary, even though I was raised that your elders were ALWAYS Mr. or Mrs. I finally got used to it and felt very posh with my fancy new job, my high heels and adult first names. When I was introduced to THE Secretary, I just started calling him "Bob" like we were old friends. The other 20 -somethings were in awe and someone finally asked me if we knew each other. I said no, but he seemed like a nice guy, he's someone's secretary, but I'm not sure whose. I also mentioned that it was strange that someone's secretary walked around in a suit and tie every day.


So I learned how to kiss ass, whose ass to kiss and of course the appropriate level of ass kissing to do so as not to seem like well, an ass kisser. I also learned that all the ass kissing in the world is only going to get you so far, so you must also learn a thing called "The Game". You must know The Game and be able to play The Game, but also not be a Game Player. Along with The Game, I was told to about Playing the Part, Dressing the Part, and Acting the Part.

Then there was Who You Know. Now this was a whole new ballgame. Up to this point, the important people who I knew were bouncers who let my gang of friends and me into the bar for free, and the ones who remembered my drink order. (Amiright?) Well now there was a whole new language to learn. You could know someone Upstairs, With Money, or the ultimate someone, someone Across the Street.

At this point, I'm about 5 or 6 years into this gig and I have learned all the basic skills: Ass Kissing, The Game, The Part and Who to Know. I was also learning my job. And at the time, it was interesting, but I had seen so many people come and go already that I knew I wouldn't last much longer, I'd be bored to tears. So now it's time for next important lesson: cultivating your Who you Know skills along with the Ass Kissing, The Game and The Part, and tossing them all in a salad called Getting Promoted.

Keep an eye out for Part 2. Better yet, sign up with an e-mail and you will get notification when a new post is up and ready to go! And don't forget to follow me on Instagram @according_to_Keir

Things I'm loving today:

Not loving so much:

  • Qik Joe Ice Melt-Pellets roll off of ice and even where it did land, it made a hole and melted nothing else around it.


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