Note from Keir: Courtney is a neighbor of mine from Pennsylvania. I read her post on Facebook and immediately asked if I could use it to restart my blog. It is heartwarming, heart wrenching and a look at the Pandemic in a way most of us can never understand. So many people are losing more than the ability to get a haircut or dine out and we need to hear their stories. Thanks for sharing Courtney. Much love-K
PS- I have not edited this post In any way.
PSS (PPS?)-I'm adding a link to Courtney's business page below. I get NO kickback, product or affiliate payment if you decide to purchase anything, just tryin' to help a sister out! On that note, enjoy.
Sometimes, especially when you’re 39 weeks pregnant, you just have to snuggle on the couch and cry.
So no, there’s no baby yet. Yes, the day before I had Victoria, I also had an afternoon of tears, so maybe this is a sign, or maybe it’s not - as I’m reminded everyday that all babies, laboring, and deliveries are different LOL. Either way, we are in the last pages of this chapter and I’m excited, anxious, nervous, and can’t wait for what our next one brings.
But reality is also hitting me hard today, so please know, if you message me to check in and I don’t respond or I seem distant, I am just processing in my own way. We’re all in uncharted waters, and add in the hormone surges of being 9 months pregnant, today hasn’t been easy. And I’m sure the coming days and weeks will be the same.
I’m hurting for my sweet girl, my baby, Victoria, who is about to have her whole life turned upside down. Sharing time with her baby sister won’t be easy and doing it during this pandemic has started showing its added stressors for her too.
I’m hurting for the friends and family who won’t be able to meet our baby right away. Please know, this isn’t easy on us either. Telling loved ones no kissing and no hugging, that they will need to wear a mask and meet her from afar... none of this is easy. Knowing that there’s no due date or deadline on this pandemic — at least we know that babies come around 40 weeks, so we will get to see her soon, but not knowing if this will end soon, if we will have vaccines, or if this is just the new normal.... is hard to swallow with no hope of an ending date to know when all our friends and family can surround baby with their love.
I DO realize there are positives from this. There are absolutely happy moments happening and even more coming. And trust me, I’m focusing on them. But today, I’m letting myself grieve and hurt because my feelings deserve to be felt too.
The unknown of when Frank will have to go back to work and not be so close for comfort all day. Not knowing when I’ll be back to in home parties and get to see my clients and just laugh and connect. Not knowing when we can enjoy the park or the zoo or traveling again. Missing out on a rotating door of visitors who bring smiles, snacks, and so much love to another baby girl. Experiencing another birth with strange restrictions and less support.
It’s all a lot to process & I just want everyone to know: we love you. Your support, your words, your kindness, all of it. We wouldn’t have the lives we have without you, and even in the hardest of times, I know you’re all there to lift us up and help us through.
So here’s to another baby girl to love with all my might. Here’s to Victoria becoming a big sister. Here’s to friends and family loving us and supporting from afar in this new normal. Here’s to living through 2020 and being able to look back and say we did it. And here’s to feeling all the feels today and rising up tomorrow... or going into labor on the ONE day of the month I said she couldn’t come.